Stories of Geraldton: "I’ve been sober for 34 years."

I’ve been sober for 34 years. People come up to me and say ‘surely one drink won’t hurt you.’ But I tell them it’ll kill me because I can’t stop at one drink. I was 40 when I went to the doctor in Darwin. I knew him well, I even drunk with him a lot. He was very blunt and told me that if I kept drinking like I was, I wouldn’t see 45. I said that was bull because when you walk the streets of Darwin, you see more old drunks than old doctors. After the appointment, I went to the pub and got pissed. On a good day, I would drink two bottles of Bacardi. I was only a ‘social drinker,’ the trouble was that every time someone within a 3000 mile radius had a drink in their hand I would say ‘so shall I.’

I apologised to that doctor a few years later, when I started Alcoholics Anonymous.

I can blame my drinking on a lot of things, I could blame my old man probably, but ultimately it came down to me. When I woke up in the morning, I had a choice, I could stay sober today or I could go and get drunk. I am responsible for myself. When I had sobered up, I worked at a rehab centre, and many of the people that came in were my former drinking mates. Now that really pinned my ears back, bloody hell.

I’m still a work in progress and I’m still learning, even 34 years later. After my wife passed away I found it really hard, but I got through. Even today I say the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer every night before bed.

‘’God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

#StoriesOfGeraldton

Stories of Geraldton: "There was no help out there for me, so I drank myself silly"

When I was 18 my Mum got diagnosed with breast cancer and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was doing my apprenticeship so it was a stressful time trying to juggle everything. There was no help out there for me, so I drank myself silly. I didn’t know how to cope. I partied too much so I was left wondering what was wrong with me, because the lows were really low. A couple of years later the doctor told me I had depression and I went on medication. I weaned myself off and started to exercise, trying to get into a healthy lifestyle. Eventually I was back on meds and it wasn’t until I went back again and tried to tell them I was feeling worse that they realised I also had glandular fever and chronic fatigue. I fell pregnant with my second child and after that I just couldn’t recover. I was so tired some days I couldn’t even smile.

I’m trying to find balance in my life at the moment, but I work a lot and I need to find that happy medium. Financial stress is another massive burden on people and for me it’s a big thing, because we aren’t big money earners. My partner is very understanding that I do have chronic fatigue and I do need sleep and rest some days. I find that counselling has helped me on the path to recovery. Finding someone to talk to and to keep talking to friends with no judgement is the most important thing. Communication is important and I think we need to start working with each other to help one another out. As women we like to think we can get through fine and that we don’t have to talk to someone, but it’s so important. I often feel judged, I have people say to me ‘just get over it.’ Depression and chronic fatigue are lifelong illnesses with a high chance of relapsing, so it’s hard to just ‘get over.’ It really is one day at a time. Women should realise they are not alone and there are amazing resources out there to help.

#StoriesOfGeraldton

Stories of Geraldton - They’re not lucky to have us, it’s us who are the lucky ones because they’ve made our lives whole

I always make a point of never making the children feel like they have to be grateful, because they shouldn’t be. It’s a child’s right to have a fantastic life so they should never feel the need to thank me. When people think of foster care they think of these damaged children but they don’t see the beautiful moments they’re going to have and the family bond that will grow. There’s a lot of special moments and a lot of laughter. Every single one of them have contact with extended family and they’ve now become our family. Our family tree, I don’t even know where it goes anymore.

We aren’t special, we have the same things happen in our family as other families, just on a bigger scale. We fail every single day, so we are just very much normal parents and we’re still learning, we never stop learning. I’m so proud of the people my kids are becoming. They’re so kind. They’ve got such a strong bond with each other. Even though they’re all from different families the way they are with each other, you know they’re from our family. They’re not lucky to have us, it’s us who are the lucky ones because they’ve made our lives whole.

Part 2 of 2.

#StoriesOfGeraldton

- In the footsteps of Humans of New York, Everything Geraldton has been publishing stories from every day locals in our community. If you know of someone we should be speaking to, get in touch.

So many touching comments after this "Stories of Geraldton" post

As you may know, Everything Geraldton has been publishing images and quotes from everyday people around Geraldton, in the footsteps of Humans of New York. 

A recent post featuring a foster family with over a dozen children was particularly inspiring, and the comments touching. 

If you haven't taken a moment yet to read the comments on Facebook, I suggest you do. 

Part two of this post will be published Friday. 

Here's one example of the inspiring comments you'll read. 

Stories of Geraldton: We would help my Grandad with the farming, rounding up the cattle and the sheep, loading hay bales up onto the trucks, watching him shear

My grandparents own a farm just outside Northampton and every school holidays my Dad used to take us out there, which was always fun. When we were there we would help my Grandad with the farming, rounding up the cattle and the sheep, loading hay bales up onto the trucks, watching him shear, that sort of stuff. It taught me the value of hard work. You’ve always got to work for what you want and you always have to help your family out no matter what.  

Stories of Geraldton: There were twenty kids in the whole school ... so it wasn’t very big. It was daunting coming here...

I finished school last year. I did ATAR, so it was just study, study, study. I’ve been accepted into Notre Dame, so I’m going to do Early Childhood teaching. Hopefully I’ll be a good teacher. I moved to Geraldton about five years ago from a town that had 300 people in it. There were twenty kids in the whole school including me and three of my siblings, so it wasn’t very big. It was daunting coming here, but when I think about going to Perth it’s even bigger and scarier.  

I took a gap year to gain experience and meet new people. My favourite thing about my job is meeting lots of people and talking to lots of people, becoming more of a person outside of school. It’s the best when people realise you remember their name and what coffee they drink and it makes my day better. That’s why I love what I do.

Stories of Geraldton: How we got into fostering kids is we were naïve

How we got into fostering kids is we were naïve. We had no idea about the huge need that there was for it in Geraldton. We went into it thinking that it would be nice a couple times a year if we gave kids a place to stay for a short amount of time. The reality is that there is a huge need, a massive need and the second our paperwork was done, three children were in our house that day and they’re still there now. After that, two more came, and they became ours as well. It was never DCP pushing them on us, it always seemed to be us going to them. They’d come for a weekend, or an emergency and they just fit right into our household and it always seems to be us campaigning the department to get more. They are very reluctant to go over a certain number so we go in with proposals saying we feel we can manage this, we can do it, so now we have 14. After 7 it really made no difference how many we had because the routine was there. Luckily we haven’t had to say goodbye to many as they end up staying with us and becoming ours. We have a baby at the moment and it will be devastating if he has to go, so my husband and I love him like we’ve got him forever. We don’t ever hold back and will give him every bit of love he deserves. One of our girls we have had since she was 7 weeks old and as soon as she was handed to us, the bonding was intense. It was like a birthing experience, it was the weirdest thing and I wasn’t prepared to hold this perfect child and fall absolutely in love with them. We had two years of thinking she was going to go and it would keep us awake at night.  We’re her legal parents now and she’s 7 and a half. Every time I look at her I think just think how lucky I am and I never take it for granted. So with him, I just enjoy giving him as much love as I possibly can and not worrying about whether he will stay forever.  At the moment, 5 of them have become ours, 2 of them are going to court this week, so we hope by the end of the year that 11 of them will be ours.

---

In the footsteps of the wonderful Humans of New York, Everything Geraldton has been sharing stories of everyday people in Geraldton. If there's a story you think the community should know about, get in touch.

Stories of Geraldton: "Ten years ago I was not in a great place"

 "Ten years ago I was not in a great place. I could see where I wanted my life to be in ten years time, I just didn’t know how I would get there. I wanted to be a nurse, I wanted to be a Mum and I wanted to be together with someone. Now I’m there. It took going through all of that to have a really empathetic and passionate response to everyone I meet now. As difficult as it was at the time, I wouldn’t change it for the world, because it’s made me the person I am now. It worked out the way it needed to. I never imagined I’d be quite that fortunate to have it all by the time I thought I would. Sometimes you need to just break it down, refocus and put yourself first."

"I knew I had aneurysms" - Stories of Geraldton

 "I knew I had aneurysms because I always had headaches. This particular day I had pain shooting up my neck and I couldn’t even tie up my shoelaces. I was told no physical activity for the next two weeks. My netball grand final was that night, so me being me, off I went down there. I lasted three minutes and down I went. They knew something was very wrong and when they did a scan they told me I had a brain haemorrhage. I asked if I was gonna die, and they said they didn’t know. That was December, 2012. I have bits and pieces of memory, but nothing solid until February, 2013. I had to learn how to walk, talk, write and feed myself again. I didn’t recognise my husband, my children or my family. Everyone has a story, I have a few. Life goes on. I’m back playing netball, but nowhere near as good as I used to be. I want to run and I want to jump, and I want to use my outside arm, but I just can’t. The more I do it, the more I get used to it. I want people to know my story, because I think I can help them. Never give in, never give up, that’s my life motto."

In the footsteps of the wonderful "Humans of New York" Everything Geraldton will be publishing stories from people in our region.